The great thing is, it gives you both the opportunity to get everything out in the open and get closure. Learn here how to have the conversation with your friend. If your friend is being physically or emotionally abusive or making you feel like crap — for example, they call you names to put you down, physically hurt you, threaten you or control you — this is not okay.
To stop the friendship, delete or block them on social media, or anywhere else they might be able to contact you. But remember, cutting off a friendship can have major consequences. Don't stand about taking abuse; angry responses are a sign that a timeout is needed. If closure doesn't happen, that's fine. You did what you had to do. If your friend becomes upset during the conversation, don't feel compelled to explain your ways. Just repeat that you don't want to be close friends anymore.
Emotions are going to be on high alert during this time, so it's important you stay as logical as possible. Be realistic when assessing the fate of the friendship. In some cases, it will be obvious to both of you that the friendship has been going nowhere for a while. Most likely, the friend will be having the same feelings and be relieved that you have been open about it — so try it.
You shouldn't have to be stuck in a friendship that you aren't interested in. Since you did it openly and honestly, both of you know where the pieces lie. It'll be easier for both of you to interact in the future, if and when you need to. However, if this isn't doable, the next section discusses abandoning the friendship in an indirect, passive way.
Part 2. Slowly stop associating with the person. In those cases, withdrawing from being friendly and chatty can help to send the message home. Begin to hang out with other people and don't return your former friend's texts or calls. If they question why you aren't texting back, just reply with a nonchalant, "Sorry, I was busy" or "I can't do long chats anymore, I don't have the time.
Don't meet up as you used to. If this means changing plans with other friends, you may need to do so for a time.
Not seeing one another is a good way to create distance and help your friend realize that you really mean it. Stop sharing things on social media networks. Block the ex-friend if this works best for you.
Don't reply to anything texted, IM'd or sent to you online from this person. Avoid making comments on posts, even if the rest of your circle of friends is doing so. Your absence will speak volumes to your ex-friend. If you pick up your phone only to see 15 texts and 3 missed calls, it will be something you will have to deal with. In this situation, text or call them back to arrange a time to meet. You'll then have to talk about the break up in person.
Adjust your routine, if necessary. If you have a fitness class together, hang out at the same diner, or even have the same friends, you may have to adjust your routine to avoid this person. Sometimes that will mean not doing what you want to do, sure, but you'll be so much happier not having to deal with this toxic relationship that you might not even notice.
This can always be a temporary change until the worst blows over. Give it a few weeks, and then return to normal. He or she will then have time to calm down and get used to you not being around. Talk to mutual friends about it. If you two share friends, your other friends are going to have to be clued in.
That way if your ex-friend is going to be around, they can let you know. Then, it's up to you to decide whether or not you want to be social in that group.
For the record, it may be easier to not hang out with mutual friends as much, at least at first. If you have a few friends that aren't associated with this toxic friend of yours, lean on them during this time to make the transition easier. Be honest if confronted. It's very possible that your friend will notice you slipping away and ask you what's up. If this happens, be honest. Say you're making other friends and that you two are simply growing apart.
That's natural. You two don't mesh together anymore — you just bring each other down. Odds are they'll know what you're talking about. You were nervous it would be sad and maybe a bit scary. If you open up yourself like that, they won't be able to argue or attack you. Part 3. Understand that being kind and polite leaves the door open to staying acquainted.
You may no longer be best friends but it is important not to leave behind you a wake of people who are "dead to you. Leaving things with good vibes is an important part of staying connected within your local community. You never know — years down the line, you two may become friends again.
But when you hear from the cousin of a friend of your bestie's roommate that you're being a total jerk in your relationship, you'll definitely be reevaluating what to share with them in the future if you two have a future at all. When you're having an anxiety attack in the club and your so-called friend tells you to suck it up because you're ruining everyone's night, it's definitely time to go. This article was originally published on Sep. By Jay Polish. Updated: April 6, Originally Published: Sep.
The Friend Who Gaslights You If your compadre constantly implies that everything's your fault in a friendship, it might be time to call gaslighting what it is and bounce.
The Friend Who Doesn't Respect Your Boundaries If you have that one friend who always FaceTimes you late at night even when you've told them you're going to bed, they might not be respecting your boundaries. The Friend Who Doesn't Respect Your Time I'm not talking about the friend who lives with chronic pain and sometimes needs to change plans because they're having a flare-up. The Friend Who Judges You For Your Goals Your friends will call you out when you're making mistakes, but there's a big difference between how you feel when your bestie is giving you solid advice even if it's tough to swallow , and how you feel when a pal is judging you and your dreams.
The "I'm Just Being Honest" Friend "You are really clingy in relationships," they tell you when you're worried about your girlfriend shutting down when you try to talk to her about emotions. The Friend Who Is Only Your Friend When It's Convenient Maybe they're in between datefriends, or they're in town and need a place to crash, even though they haven't answered your texts in months.
The Friend Who Doesn't Respect Your Identities You're stoked to introduce your inner circle to your new girlfriend, but they say you're just "going through a phase. The Friend Who Violates Your Trust You want to be able to tell your best friend about that fight you and your partner had, including the parts where you kind of messed up. The Friend Who Invalidates Your Feelings When you're having an anxiety attack in the club and your so-called friend tells you to suck it up because you're ruining everyone's night, it's definitely time to go.
See All Health Relationships Self. It might not feel intuitive at first, but shedding the weight of a toxic relationship will give you a lot more brainspace to just do you.
Claudia Sigala , L. Jamie Goldstein , Psy. This article was originally published on July 9, By Kat George and Jay Polish. Updated: July 21,
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